A stroll down memory lane..

Most of the time, when we have reflections of our past, we tend to lean towards the negative experiences we’ve gone through. Maybe its due to our programmed mind or our current status where things may not look as good as you’ve always imagined when you were much younger.

I was looking through some of the boxes I’ve stored away in the storeroom. I stumbled upon a stack of my certificates from school and college. Woo..what a ride it was down that memory lane!

I looked through my school’s certs – there is a huge stack of it, all my achievements in school as a prefect, Art Editor for my school magazine, English Literature club Secretary, House Captain & Treasurer, Squash Club captain, Netball representative, etc. Then there were my exam results – straight As for my PMR, 10 aggregate for my SPM.
It all seemed so long ago as I keep reminding myself that it has been exactly 10 years since I’ve left school this year.

My school years were the most uncertain yet beautiful years of my life. Uncertain because I didn’t know what would happen to me after school. I knew very well my mum couldn’t afford to send me to college or university due to our financial difficulties. But I didn’t want to end up as a waitress my whole life. (I was waitressing earning pocket money ever since I was 15) I envied my rich school friends who were so sure what they wanted to do. Their life were made even if they did badly in school. Their parents would be able to send them to study overseas and they would earn a proper education.

But whatever would happen to me? I knew I could be somebody worthy in my life. All I needed was a chance to prove myself. All I needed was a scholarship.

My chance did come. I won a scholarship to pursue my studies in Advertising at a local college called IACT. Back then I was waitressing at TGI Fridays and I got a call for an interview. I remembered having to take the day off and having a chat (very apologetically) with the store Manager. He looked at me sternly and said, “Well, I definitely don’t want to loose you, but I also definitely don’t want you to be a waitress your whole life. You better get that scholarship!”
And I did. I remembered getting the phone call and I screamed with joy! I finally got my chance. God was kind to me then.

I saw another stack of certs –this time it’s from my college. For 3 years I did my studies there, my results progressively improved. From a student with 2 A’s and 2 B’s, by the 2nd year I was cruising past with straight A’s. I told myself repeatedly that I must not throw my chances away. I have to do well. Interestingly, all my lectures had the same comment about me – ‘Very potential to do well in future’.

In present day, I don’t know if I would be considered a star employee as I was considered a star student back then. Sometimes I hate my job but today, I just remembered the long, hard and relentless journey I took to get here. There are times at work where you feel useless, de-motivated, dejected and lost. But then again, I cant be that bad since I’ve made it this far all by myself with nothing but grit, determination and fearlessness.

I will cherish my long walk back memory lane. It has reminded me who I am and WHAT I am made of – past to present!

True vision comes from the heart

I just saw an inspirational movie on Hallmark – a true story about a woman who went blind. She had to learn how to cope with her blindness and her life all over again. Though her life became very disheartening, her husband became her pillar of strength.

Not long, her husband contracted cancer and passed on. As if life was not hard enough for her to endure, her daughter met an accident and was critically injured. How tough can that be for her?

I see and feel her frustration. As if God made a bad joke on her, but He gave her back some happiness. She found a man who was in love with her since high school who then married her. She stumbled upon her talent in speaking – giving motivational speeches to students, old folks, blind folks, athletes, etc. She is now a renowned motivational speaker

She said, “True vision comes from the heart”. Someone I know once said that to me as well – my father. He himself was blind.
But through his blindness, he helped raised a family. Though he passed on when I was only 7, a lot about him influenced the way I think, feel and behave till this day.

Today, I feel lucky to be very much like the lady who got blind. Though I have my vision, I have learnt since young to see with my heart. To feel and to embrace beauty from within.

Along the way, life gets hard. Things don’t go your way and God throws challenges at you again and again. Just when you think things cannot get any worse, it does. I never understood why He made life so difficult for me, but slowly I’d realized why. He loves me very much – he wanted to teach me how to see light amidst all the darkness and evil. How to stay pure, hopeful and loving when everything around you seems to go against you.

All the hardship can’t be that bad. I have seen and lived to believe that things will get better. And it always does….