Meeting of the worlds

in the words of Peter...thought this was really well written! actually got featured in a Vietnamese magazine..
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Have you ever seen the scenario with the agitated westerner, slightly red in the face, and the Vietnamese watching the scene with a puzzled look? Maybe you have, or maybe you soon will! For many expatriates this situation can be quite common.
Especially in a busy daily schedule where information and routines are running fast, the clashing of two so different cultures is bound to happen sooner or later.
For myself I can say that I have seen and experienced it a numerous of times, in many different kinds of situations, but it all comes down to the same scenario. The westerner agitated and the Vietnamese with the puzzled look.

Now a westerner is not just a westerner! Many different countries in the west has as many different cultures, languages, religions, traditions, food etc. Just take Europe: If you are from northern Europe or southern Europe, has a huge difference in oh-so-many ways. Not to mention the United States or Australia or any other part of the world you will term as the west, though somehow the scenario seems to be almost identical.

Many books have been written addressing this problem, the Vietnamese culture is like this or don’t ever try to do your business like that! And again if you’re dealing with north or South Vietnamese, then the rules mentioned before doesn’t apply anymore and a new set of culture regulations pops up. The list of advises can go on and on, and as you read up to prepare yourself as best as you can, you hardly know your own ways anymore.
In the café or on the street you hear even more funny set up’s coming from more or less enlightened expatriates who seem to have figured out this never ending maze.

Being in the travelling line for a long time, I have heard perceptions coming from the other sphere, beyond borders of known physics to almost master thesis’ been created over a few long drinks. More is that I have seen myself babbling of theories in the very same situations. In the review mirror: I must say that it has been quite funny to participate in these sessions. Some crazy stories have been cocked up I’m afraid. But should I draw a quick conclusion of them all, it would be; I guess the scene doesn’t need more intellectuals!
To map out diversity is a full time job and do occupy many good minds already. Diversity is apparent everywhere and so striking in all forms that it has to be analysed and commented.
Only to confuse even more,

Every day in working life can be a constant encounter of a lot of “Why’s”, Why is it like this? or why do you do like that? To boldly state here, I think this is “same same” for all. It can add up to quite some “whys” in a short time. If you mix the “whys” with all these advises and theory and stir it well. You will then have a dangerous cocktail of the given scenario: The agitated westerner slightly red in the face and the puzzled Vietnamese.
Who is right and who is wrong? Ups, back track now! Was just about to end up in the compilation of good advises again, sorry.
Well, in all common sense some perspective has to mingle its way into this. Situations accrue of all the reasons in the world and have to be dealt with accordingly. As, theft of cause can’t be justified, huh

The other day having a drink and cracking jokes with a good friend, we had a hearty laugh of some jokes he shared loud and vividly. A few days after in retrospect thinking back at our night out, I realised that it was the same lame punch line my dear friend told some time ago when I was home for a visit. Just put in a slightly different form. The joke was a bit naughty, so I can’t tell it here! But the laughs that night were just as sticky as in my hometown with the guys. Then to my amazement I recalled many nights out with friends here in Vietnam and as many laughs. It’s was not that different was it?

Later, back in the daily busy schedule of many encounters, the same “why” situation came invariably again and it was about to get hot. Just this time a thought crossed my mind; maybe he’s as confused as I and maybe finds this as uncomfortable as I. Quietly relating to that thought and recalling the hearty laugh of the earlier jokes, a hidden smile appeared on his face. Funnily after that the situation dissolved and there we stood just caught up in the diversity that surrounded us, but the emotions was “same same”. Guess it wasn’t so bad after all, eh? I said and scratched my head.
Business is business and work has to be done. In the office some are good at accounting, some at sales, some a bit lazy, some buzzing about but always ask if you need anything from the store when going out, some serious and again some easy to put on a smile, though in all the adversity we still work together. Come lunch the show of the day comes alive, noodle soup in a bundle, a few sandwiches and plenty of rice is being consumed in a short time.
All have time to discuss the meals, making jokes and wrinkling the foreheads in contemplation of all the variety of smells and colours displayed. Sometime ago one westerner tried to have noodle soup every day as he thought this would relate him in acceptance to the Vietnamese in the office. Many also asked if he enjoyed the food, with great courtesy he always nodded and smiled. Until one day he was so fed up with the soup that he hardly could put up a smile anymore. The uncomforting of his lunch slowly spread round the table as all could sense his dismay. The normal chit chats and gossip slowed down until the lunchtime was no more the same fun as it used to be.
I have always found it strange how some foreigners have to change or force an unnatural code upon them. I remembered this western Hindu monk I once saw in India. Looking very awkward in a long orange dress and ashes smeared all over the forehead, walking barefooted round the streets asking for a bit of rice to support the day. He tried to be, talk, and act as a native Hindu monk though to me he looked weird and funny. This tall white man did not blend in for sure, I can tell you. Some might discuss this view as degrading! Which, at first I also was ashamed to think of myself, but at that very time I was reading a book of HH the Dalai Lama. Not that I pledge to Buddhism, but his joy filled smile and holistic views seem to attract a lot of attention, so why not give his words a go I thought. Here in the book he did assure me, that it’s better to try to be a good westerner than to be a bad local or, for our case a good westerner than a bad Vietnamese! These very words I forwarded to my colleague in the office, and added; Guess your also more comfortable being ‘that’ you really are, eh? And by realizing this he went back to his taste of food and was as cheerful as ever. His changed mood spread like a wildfire at lunchtime and I could tell that he won a lot more acceptance and did a world of difference by being the good boy he was.
All was again cracking jokes and gossiping round the table,

Meetings of the worlds, is not an easy task and it goes further than the flavours of food. Especially at first, it takes some serious effort and punches will come from here and there.

Let me tell you my story: Less than a year ago, I felt uneasy in Vietnam and through my work I made another person very uncomfortable. At first I refused to see just a little above just plan diversity and did become more than red in the face from time to time. Never looking at the puzzled looks I got and refusing to realize the uncomforting surrounding my person. Of cause these things have to come to the surface one way or another and in a very emotional moment it came out in tears. Again tears are tears from whomever they spring, and make the differences vanish quite so fast I can say. It took some contemplation and scratching in the head before concluding that all the advices I have had earlier was of no use now.
Then the change came and I had to leave Vietnam, but before leaving I made a promise to my friend, I made so sad before. I promised to progress! Not to change or be another but just progress. Coming back again after some time and continuing my work in the office. A promise is a promise! And I took the bull by the horns and looked just slightly beyond the vast diversity we see everywhere. By doing so, situations are dealt with much easier and the laughter is back and adding that little extra fun to our office. .. I believe all is much more comfortable.
By adjusting the title; Meeting of the worlds! You can now take out the ending “S”. And the meaning will change to; Meeting of the world. We all enjoy a good laugh as much as the next,
Guess we’re not so different you & I, eh?