What is ever enough?

There was a point in my childhood that we all had a bowl of rice with soy sauce – for lunch and maybe dinner. Back then; an occasional fish would be a luxury. Those were really hard times that may seem very hard for others to fathom

Those days when we had our treat of a skinny, bony fish – we would sit around and enjoy sucking out its meat to the very bones. For many moments beyond the flesh, we would still be sucking onto the bones - just to hold on to those last moments of tasting fish in our mouths for an uncertain time to come.

I remembered also when I was doing my very first interview. It was for a scholarship to pursue my higher education. I got that scholarship, I‘d remember feeling ecstatic when I heard the news much later. But before that, I walked out that room feeling low, cheap, poor and shocked!
One of the ladies in the interview asked me to verify how is it possible that a mother of 3 only earns RM600 a month (around USD160!)? Honestly, when she asked me that question, I didn’t know how to answer her. Not because it was a hard question, but it was a weird question. In my mind, I kept answering “Why not?????”
It didn’t dawn on me that there are people who can’t ever dream of living with that amount of money for themselves – let alone to feed 3 other kids.
At the end of my answer, I felt that she didn’t believe me – probably I made up this sad soppy story just to qualify to win the scholarship. Still, that encounter left me confused. That was then.

Now - if you ask me, can I live with just RM600 a month just for myself? HELL NO! My personal economic standards have improved so tremendously, now that I think back to those days - I am like that interviewer, how she questioned about the possibilities? Realistically, that was 10 years ago – all prices has gone up, we no longer lived on bare needs but little luxuries here and there, I have increased my material possession, etc.

Yet being the culprit, I constantly ask for more. I complain that I work too hard and should deserve to be paid more – my bills are increasing, what I earn now is simply not enough.

However, reflecting on the impossible circumstances that we managed to pull through as a family made me feel utterly embarrassed and ungrateful.
I overlooked the possibilities that we gained instead – gratitude, happiness, and moderation. In this day and age, moderation becomes insatiability, happiness becomes discontent and gratitude becomes unappreciative.

Time to reflect:
1. Nothing is ever enough
2. Live with contentment & gratitude
3. Ultimately find lasting happiness..

With that, I’ve decided not to shop for a month! =p